When I Couldn’t Spell My Name

I got an infamous story I gotta tell
It’s quite embarrassing so aren’t gonna yell
It’s about the day my name; I couldn’t spell
But first… I warn your itchy mouths not to tell

You know how shy I am
Unfortunately, just in front of my desk sat our madam
She was a strict Muslim, married to a Mallam
In our class, she was much of an alarm

Abu was my best friend of friends
He always got the fillers and trends
His girlfriend had amazing back ends
One good thing about him; our homework he always sends

See that girl there in the corner? Her name is Cush
She’s got cash
She’s beautiful; cool like the color ash
So, ended up being my crush

I liked her… I didn’t get the nerves. I couldn’t tell her
I just couldn’t dare
So, when I saw her I could only stare
I didn’t know Abu had become aware…

He started to tease
Sometimes he called her to me and I was never at ease
But the do as they please
I could only tell her “nothing please”

The problem for me was the talking…
But not the stalking,
The staring,
And the admiring.

Then Abu came with a clue
He said its sweet and cool
Like the morning dew
So, I didn’t argue

He said “madam will give homework by hook or crook
Just as you submit your book
Inert a paper with your name in her book
On the paper say I love you, come home let cook”

With high hopes I was waiting for a bang
It was 3 the bell rang
Madam put her bag on her shoulder to hang
With our books tied like she’s caught a gang

My heart couldn’t stay still
Like riding a cycle on a hill
My tears were ready to spill
Was shaking, Abu gave me a nerve calming pill

What if Madam comes to see?
Then I’ll have to dive into the sea
Almost, just almost I was gonna pee
So held my chest and prayed to Thee

The next morning got me sweating
Even bumped into a tree, yet wasn’t hurting
‘What happened to the paper?’ Was meditating
Boom! Boom! My heart couldn’t stop beating

Oops there she comes and she’s in
Holding my breath, trying to stay keen
Who knows, maybe I would win
Yet the books, they couldn’t be seen

She started to teach
No, rather preach… she started to preach
About levels we could reach
Yet, on my seat my butt couldn’t reach

An hour passed, just when I thought all was well
He shouted “WHAT THE HELL”
Who was that? Someone we knew well
MALLAM! What he wanted, we couldn’t tell

His face was wild and furious
And it got us all curious
There was nothing hilarious
The scene looked mysterious

Not even Madam knew what was going on
On this early Monday morn
Yet he sounded like a battler’s horn
He said, “All boys here, we’re going to mourn”

Turned to the boys, “you recall your name
Today it remains the same
Just want to spread you some fame
So, you all take a chalk, on the board write your name”

The tension eased down
Then faded away the frown
He no more seemed like a clown
Then came on me a dawn

He said, “kind of know a little of you
Just a few
When I marked your books, though some were new
You boys are stubborn, but I never knew.”

Just then my heart skipped a beat
Then I took a seat
Was really feeling the heat
It can’t be what I’m thinking, no it can’t be it

I had Abu on my sight
I signaled him my plight and fright
That fight
was of too much might

It was clear
Mallam had seen the paper and I was in despair
I was just too unlucky, thought was too unfair
I can’t talk it out with him… no I won’t dare
This really cool clue had turned into a nightmare.

He said, “you dare propose to your teacher, my wife”
And that on a paper when you’re only in grade five
To let you know, I came with a knife
And I’m going to cut you into exactly… five…

One by one, everyone wrote his name
To see if they qualified for the promised fame
Yet Abu, I couldn’t blame
Soon, it was time to write my name

Was really sad
Thought it through too hard
That I almost ran mad
Then a suicide plan I had

My name is Clement
On the paper, it had Clement
Was gonna be caught if I write Clement
I cried…I teared down… and ended up writing Cement

He looked at me for seconds of five
Shook his head for times of five
Yelled “YOU” for times of five
And… and…. And then took his knife….

By Qweisie_Sparrow

cool..simple... easy

One reply on “When I Couldn’t Spell My Name”

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